Guys, it was the best birthday ever!!!!
Thanks talaga sa lahat. The KOJI look-alike, the choco cake, and the BEAN BAG!!! I'm so happy. Kahit na medyo magulo ang aking life ngayon, I'm really glad you guys are there. Mwah!! Mwah!! Mwah!!
Hay. Sana okay yung grade ko sa Leg Prof and Leg Res. Sana enough to get the QPI that I need. I just want this to be over. I want to start anew. I want to study and concentrate on my subjects. Not to always have at the back of my mind that I'm still not safe. I wish that day will come soon.
I haven't given up yet. Ilalaban ko 'to.
I guess it's just not meant to be.
Mel, Euns, Yves, and Shem; I'm sorry I can't come tomorrow. Di ko talaga kaya. I can't pretend to be happy just yet. I'll just see you on Wednesday. I need time to myself muna. I need to decide if itutuloy ko pa ba to.
It's really sad. I feel so defeated. I failed everyone's expectations.
Lord Jesus Christ,
I believe in Your goodness.
I put all my faith in You.
I trust You with all my heart.
I cast all my cares upon You.
I am not afraid, for You are with me.
Lord Holy Spirit,
Please give me strength to face my fears
Give me courage
Hear my cries
Wash over me with Your peace
Calm my confused and fearful soul.
Lord God the Father,
You are all mighty and great
Please give me hope
Please show me the way
Let Your will be done.
Please help me.
Help all of us.
Nakakakaba.
Nababaliw na ako sa paghihintay.
Gaano pa ba katagal?
Gusto ko nang malaman
Ok ba o hindi?
Magsasaya ba ako o iiyak?
Ano ba?
Bilisan mo na!
Nauubusan na ko ng luha.
Bumabalik na naman ang mga alaala
Ang mga pagkakamaling nagawa
Kung sana iba ang ginawa ko
Magkakaganito ba ako?
Ano ba?
Bilisan mo na!
Nag-iisip ako nang paraan
para di kita isipin
Pero wala talaga
Para akong nasa bilangguan
Nag-aantay sa araw ng paghuhusga.
For being my...
Sandalan
6cyclemind
Kanina pa kitang pinagmamasdan
Mukha mo'y di maipinta
Malungkot ka na naman
Kanina pa kitang inaalok nang
Kwentuhang masaya
Parang sayo'y balewala
Sandali nga
Teka lang
May nakalimutan ka
Di ba't pwede mo akong iyakan
Sige lang
Sandal ka na
At wag mong pipigilan
Iiyak mo na ang lahat sa langit
Iiyak mo lang ang lahat sa akin
(dahil) andito lang ako naghihintay
Lagi mong tatandaan
Di ka na nagiisa(dahil) andito lang ako makikinig sayo
Sa buong magdamag
Sakin di ka balewala
Sige lang
Sige lang
Sige lang
for checking up on me
for worrying about me
for the advice
for lending me your shoulder to cry on
for understanding that I am having a hard time right now
for the encouragement
for what you said that even if I fail, you will still be there
for telling me that pride is not important
for texting
for making me smile
for making my day.
I realize just now, that everytime I needed a break, I text you. Just to relieve the stress. And you have always been there. Even if it is hours too late. Thanks for being a good friend.
It is funny when advice comes from
the one who hurt you the most
like it is the most natural thing
showing concern for you
all of a sudden.
You take into stride everything being said
in the middle of it all
you finally realize
that the thing is gone.
It tried to come back at that time
but you held it at bay
It is now gone forever.
You still cannot look into his eyes
but not for the same reason as before.
And then you laugh.
I went to Calamba the other day with my highschool friends and it was a really fun and "enlightening" experience. It all started when Pheppo and Ben arranged the said "reunion". I asked permission from my parents the night before and fortunately they said yes. (Actually, my dad said, "Oui.") After not getting a good night of sleep, I received a text message saying that the trip has been cancelled coz there were only a few of us going. So, I texted Ben and told him to tell Pheppo to go ahead with the plan. In the words of Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge, "The show must go on." And it did.
First pic: from left to right, Cherry, moi, katz, denise and melvin; Second pic: me and cherry
I met up with the girls (Denise, Katz, Cherry) and Melvin at G4. Denise, Katz and I looked like we were performing somewhere, coz we were all in green! The COLOR OF THE DAY. We were supposed to meet up at 3 pm but we had to wait for Cherry for more than hour coz she was stuck in traffic. (Moral of the Day: Wag mag-taxi kung pupunta ka ng G4 galing ng Munoz. Mag-MRT na lang).
So there, we finally left at around 5 pm. For our roadtrip, Denise (whom I have not seen since graduation!!!) entertained us with her uber-funny and some disgusting (two pressures at once?) stories. We finally reached Southwoods, the rest of guys fetched us and we went to the house (Pheppos). We stayed there for a couple of hours and waited for James and Vince to arrive. Then, tska lang namin nalaman na wala pa pala kaming pupuntahan. Wow. Ang saya-saya.
Thus, nag-convoy kami sa SLX. I wonder why guys do not know the meaning of the word CONVOY? Haay. Kung di lang ako nagtitipid sa gas, hahabulin ko yun eh. Syempre the first thing that comes to mind? Pepe, Mu-MIEL! and Tagaytay. Hahaha.
Ayun na nga, "nag-convoy" kami. We arrived at Calamba (which is nasa kadulo-duluhan ng SLX). Tska kami nag-"resort" hunting. And there we encountered the "biker boys". Sila yung mga lalaking naka-bike (as in bisikleta) na nagpapaikot-ikot recommending various places to you. Haay, sobra. Naikot na yata namin ang buong Pansol nun. Anyway, we finally found the best place (As of that moment, dahil sa we were dying of hunger. Actually, there was a debate between the place we chose and the "Big Brother House").
Vince, the guy who kissed me on the cheek and got slapped (back in Highschool) hehe
Ayun, the place was for P3000. It had a pool a.k.a. hot spring (sobra sa init!). It had three rooms, two of which were airconditioned. And videoke. Yun nga lang, kelangan mo pang maghulog ng P5 for every song and yuckers yung song list, amoy ewan.
pic 1: naga-attempt mag start ng fire; pic 2: our chefs, Ben and Pheppo
Ipinagluto kami nina Ben and Pheppo and we finally had dinner at around 12mn. Wow talaga. Buti na lang masarap dahil kung hindi, naku. Then, yosi break sila and we girls retreated to our room. GIRL TALK!!!! Awww... dun ko lang na-realize na na-miss ko sila nang sobra. Ayun, kwento-kwento. Tapos maya maya binabasa na nang tubig yung bintana, lumabas na raw kami. Hahaha. We did not want to just yet.
And then I made a crucial mistake. Lumabas ako para mag-washroom. Waaaahhhh!!!! Binuhat ako ni Ben at hinagis sa pool (with my tsinelas and everything). Yes, I never thought na may makakabuhat sa kin nang ganun-ganun na lang. At sabi pa niya, "Ang gaan mo pala". Oh wow. I am SOOO flattered. Magaan pala ako. Pero di yun makakabawi sa paghagis mo sa kin sa pool. Grrrrr...
The next thing I did: I went to the room and told the girls: "Lumabas na kayo, basa na ako". Ayun, tinawanan lang ako ng mga loka.
When everyone was finally out, INUMAN NA!!! Sabi ko pa naman di ako iinom. But, for the sake of camaraderie... I had two or three shots (can’t remember) of Emperador and a sip of San Mig Light. Medyo, tinamaan ako. Yes, yes, I know konti lang yun (Mel and Eunice).
I was so tipsy that I went into the pool and sat by the stairs and just thought about law school. Tapos, naiyak na ko. Not the hagulhol type of iyak. Yung tahimik na iyak lang. Kala ko nga di nila napansin pero mali pala ako (thanks Ben). Now that I think about it, sana pala iniyak ko na lang lahat ng sama ng loob ko nun. Sabi nga nung song, "...At wag mong pipigilan. Iiyak mo na ang lahat sa langit. Iiyak mo na ang lahat sa akin."
After that, parang nawala yung effect nung alcohol and I sobered up instantly. I actually started making plans for next semester. O di ba? Baliw na talaga ako. Then, we were on highschool memory lane. Lahat nang love issues back then were brought up. Not my type of topic. It just brings back so many memories. Some of which gusto ko nang kalimutan. But finally, things lightened up a bit.
the two guys standing on the right are brian and james
Di ako makapaniwala na ang dami palang atraso sa kin ni Ben and Pheppo. First, the prank call. And then, yung bag ni Tim. I was so shocked. Pasalamat lang sila tipsy ako nun at di masyado naka-react. Uulitin ko ang sinabi ko, "It never crossed my mind that you could do something like that to me. You of all people."
But all is forgiven though definitely not forgotten.
Eto na ang highlight nang aking gabi. Si James. Nak nang... Medyo, asarero talaga itong taong ito. He decided that I needed to be enlightened as to why I still don’t have a boyfriend. There. Ang sayang usapan di ba? Tapos, sumali pa si Cherry and si Pheppo. Ayun na nga talaga. Pinagkaisahan na nila ako.
I have to admit na may point sila kahit konti, still have to ponder on that some other time. I think I have to worry about November 7 more, di ba?
I really had a great time. I missed them all sooo much. Kahit na we are all living different lives now, I am happy to know that we can still spare a little bit of our time and money for each other.
Sa uulitin.
