Sabi ko nga. I just can't seem to help it. Mahilig talaga ako magover-analyze ng situations. I replay it over and over inside my head just to make sure that I went through every little thing that might have significance to the scenario that I wanted to happen.
Pero yun na nga. Sabi ni Luna and everyone else around, I should stop over-analyzing kasi in the end, rather than enjoy all the stuff that's been happening, I'd end up worrying over little nothings. But it's easier said than done. I've been doing it for the longest time that thinking about stopping gives me a migraine.
What can I say, I'm a brooding Scorpio.
Then again, I'll try my best to go with the flow.
To just make each moment feel like it's the last.
Pero yun na nga. Sabi ni Luna and everyone else around, I should stop over-analyzing kasi in the end, rather than enjoy all the stuff that's been happening, I'd end up worrying over little nothings. But it's easier said than done. I've been doing it for the longest time that thinking about stopping gives me a migraine.
What can I say, I'm a brooding Scorpio.
Then again, I'll try my best to go with the flow.
To just make each moment feel like it's the last.
Pag-Alis
Barbie Almalbis
Kung wala ka nang gustong sabihin
Wag ka nang tumingin ng ganyan
Kung bukas, ako’y kalilimutan
Sana naman ngayo’y di mo na isipin ako’y tawagan
At habang may panahon,
Wag na nating hintayin
Lumalim pa
At masakit nang tanggapin
Ang pag-alis ng iyong liwanag
Na gumising sa mahabang gabi
Ika’y langit ngunit baka masanay
At di kayanin ang iyong pag-alis
Kung wala ka nang gustong marinig
Ako’y aalis at manahimik
Ang kahapon na nais kong limutin
Sana naman huwag nang manumbalik at bigyang pansin
At habang may panahon,
Wag na nating hintayin
Lumalim pa
At masakit nang tanggapin
At habang may panahon,
Wag na nating hintayin
Lumalim pa
At masakit nang tanggapin
Ang pag-alis ng iyong liwanag
Na gumising sa mahabang gabi
Ika’y langit ngunit baka masanay
At di kayanin ang iyong pag-alis
I just love this song. Sabi nga ni Ces, bittersweet.
I was contemplating on my current mesh of a situation and I remembered an article by Jessica Zafra. She was ranting about how other people depend on psychics and stuff just to get a glimpse of what would happen in the future and how life is going so far. She suggested a different, funny method. Take your Ipod, press play and see which song comes out. So I took my Ipod and pressed "Shuffle Songs". Guess which song played?
Boyfriend
Ashlee Simpson
Whatcha been doin'? Whatcha been doin?
Whoa, Whoa,
Haven't seen ya 'round,
How you been feelin'? How you been feelin'?
Whoa, whoa,
Don't you bring me down,
All that shit about me,
Being with him,
Can't believe,
All the lies that you told,
Just to ease your own soul,
But I'm bigger than that,
No, you don't have my back,
No, No, HA
[Chorus]
Hey, how long till the music drowns you out?
Don't put words up in my mouth,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till you face what's goin' on,
Cause you really got it wrong,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Well I'm sorry,
That he called me,
And that I answered the telephone,
Don't be worried,
I'm not with him,
And when I go out tonight,
I'm going home alone,
Just got back from my tour,
I'm a mess girl for sure,
All I want is some fun,
Guess that I'd better run,
Hollywood sucks you in,
But it won't spit me out,
Whoa Whoa, HA
[Chorus]
Hey, how long till the music drowns you out?
Don't put words up in my mouth,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till you face what's going on?
Cause you really got it wrong,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till you look at your own life,
Instead of looking into mine,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till you're leaving me alone,
Don't you got somewhere to go?
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Whoa, whoa, whoa ha
Whoa, whoa, whoa ha
Please stop telling all your friends,
I'm getting sick of them,
Always staring at me like I took him from ya'
[Chorus]
Hey, how long till the music drowns you out?
Don't put words up in my mouth,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till you face what's going on?
Cause you really got it wrong,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till you look at your own life,
Instead of looking into mine,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till you're leaving me alone,
Don't you got somewhere to go?
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, ha,
Whoa, I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, ha,
Whoa, I didn't steal your boyfriend
Kumusta naman talaga? Rumolyo ko sa kakatawa. Bwahaha. How apt.
On a more positive note. And since ayaw pa tumigil ni Monsod sa pagblo-blog sa lib habang nasa kanya ang aking reviewer, magblo-blog muna ko.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy na may recent developments sa aking pagchu-churva. After a long hiatus of just saying his and hellos sa hallways, all of a sudden we're acting like we're really good friends. But I must admit, I really really enjoy his company. Masaya ako pag kasama ko sya. As in. Eh kahit nga habang nage-exam ako sa tax at hindi ako makasagot, nakangiti ako. O di ba? Kung di ba naman ako baliw?
But I really like the feeling minus the depression afterwards, I mean who wouldn't? Kilig moments that would send me staring into the deep beyond with this stupid smile on my face. Na parang loka-loka. Napapagod na nga panga ko eh. Pero sige pa rin.
Nakakatuwa lang kasi na I feel so comfortable when I'm with him. Plus the fact na he is so undeniably cute. Ayan na. Palsy moment. Hay. Sana lang talaga ay may patutunguhan tong "recent developments" ng aking churva.
*Keeping my fingers crossed*
It's really funny how fate works. Just when you're ready to move on, you come to a full stop and turn back, even if you painstakingly don't want to. Coz you don't want to be back at square one, and do it all over again. It's just too tiring. What should I do then huh? Convince myself that all that's happening are my delusions and probably just figments of my imagination. My imagination that's running too wild. Outcome: Never ending Palsy moments.
Why? I was almost there. Almost. So ready to face you and see you as just an acquaintance (not even a friend, coz I don't think we've even reached that stage), someone I say hi and hello to when we meet in the hallways. And that's it. That's how far our "relationship" can go. And here I thought that I can do that.
But no. Yesterday just had to happen and everything's upside down. Welcome to life in a blender. Every feeling that I've tried so hard to forget and bury deep resurfaced. Resurfaced at such a fast pace that I don't know what to do with it. I really really don't.
I love the palsy moments of course. The way I can actually smile like there's no tomorrow. The "kilig" situations you put me in. Then again, I dread the time that I would have to wait for something to happen. And if it doesn't, I fear the disappointment. Disappointment and forever wondering the what ifs.
Coz I never did get you. How your mind works. As usual, you've succeeded in confusing my already discombobulated mind. And I don't know if I like it. I just wish na this wouldn't end in vain like all the past "attempts" on my part. Coz I really can't bear it anymore.
Sorry for being pesimisstic. That's just me and my over-analytical self talking.
